just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
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the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
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Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize