What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Who wears a wallet chain?!
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
