Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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