You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
