I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
