Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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