I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
