just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
