I want to make a zoo with you.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
