I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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