He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
so much tequila, so little girl.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
