i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
