Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
