Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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