I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
