Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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