it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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