i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize