I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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