You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Randomize
