i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
