In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
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