I faked an abortion last night.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
