I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
