its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
