I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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