This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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