I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
