She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
