Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
