we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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