yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
