dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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