left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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