I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
