Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
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The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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