so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
