im drinking this country out of the recession.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
