you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
