Pappa wants mamma naked
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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