Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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