Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
