ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
