its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
