he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
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He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
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I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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