This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
