I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize