the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
