Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Randomize
