dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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