i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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