dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
