I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
