So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize