Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
