I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize