You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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