tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize